Strange but true

Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership.  He
received a $26 million severance package.  Perhaps it's not Walter who's
lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:  Police in Oakland, California
spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself
inside his home.  After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered
that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please
come out and give yourself up!"

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B?  An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,
kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated
teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his
own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!  A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked
for all the money in the cash drawer.  Apparently, the take was too small,
so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours
until the police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT?  Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery
suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup.  When detectives
asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or
I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?  A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My
wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"  "Is this
her first child?" the doctor asked.  "NO!" the man shouted, "This is her

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!  In Modesto, California, Steven
Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch
without a weapon.  King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but
unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

8. THE GRAND FINALE!  Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in
the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to
boating, were having a problem.  No matter how hard they tried, they
couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. going.  It was very sluggish in almost
every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied.  After about an hour
of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone
there could tell them what was wrong.  A thorough topside check revealed
everything in perfect working condition.  The engine ran fine, the outdrive
went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch.  So, one of the
marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.  He came up, choking on
water he was laughing so hard....NOW REMEMBER, THIS IS TRUE...... Under the
boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!