Male Phrases
How To Translate Things Men Say
*
"It's a guy thing."
really
means... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have
no chance at all of making it logical."
* "Can I help with dinner?"
really means... "Why isn't it already on the table?"
* "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes,
dear." really means... Absolutely
nothing. It's a conditioned response.
* "It would take too long to
explain." really means... "I have no
idea how it works."
* "I'm getting more exercise lately."
really means... "The batteries in the remote are dead."
* "We're going to be late."
really means... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
* "Take a break, honey, you're
working too hard." really means...
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
* "That's interesting, dear."
really means... "Are you still talking?"
* "Honey, we don't need material
things to prove our love." really
means... "I forgot our anniversary again."
* "That's women's work."
really means... "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
* "You know how bad my memory is."
really means... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop' and the Vehicle
Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your
birthday."
* "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself,
it's no big deal." really means...
"I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
* "I do help around the house."
really means... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
* "Hey, I've got my reasons for what
I'm doing. "Really
means... "I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon."
*
"I can't find it."
really means... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely
clueless*
Back
*
"I heard you."
really means... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and I'm hoping
desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next days
yelling at me."
* "You look
terrific." really
means... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
* "I missed you."
really means... "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out
of toilet paper."
* "I'm not lost. I
know exactly where we are."
really means... "I'm lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see
us alive again."
* "I don't need to
read the instructions."
really means... "I am perfectly capable of messing up without printed help.