Lawyer Test
You know it's time to get a new lawyer when :
- The prosecutor sees
your lawyer in the hall, and they high-five each other.
- During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
- He tells you that his last good case was a "Pepsi."
- He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
- During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
- Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the
air with his fingers.
- Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."
- He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."
- He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.
- He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."