Aging gracefully?

An elderly persons thoughts on aging.


I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran?

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

If all is not lost, where is it?

The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.

It was all so different before everything changed.

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play cards?

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

It's not hard to meet expenses....they're everywhere.

I started out with nothing.....I still have most of it.