Actual quotes from employee performance evaluations
Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and started to dig.
His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
I would not allow this employee to breed.
This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't-be.
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts the better.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
Takes him ten hours to watch "Sixty Minutes".