Church One-Liners
Some people are kind, polite, and
sweet-spirited-until you try to sit in
their pews.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come
close.
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road,
and the back of the church.
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And in conclusion."
To make a long story short, don't tell it.
If your left hand doesn't know what your right hand is doing, you should
consider running for a job in Washington, DC.
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make
which one you stay home from?
A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just
sitting on the premises.
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over
"religious nuts!"
If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!