How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to
pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and decide
who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and
seven to say how much they liked the old one better.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four
wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor
of or against the need for a light bulb; however, if in your own
journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine.
You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about
your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next
month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore
a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent,
three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull,
or completely out, you are loved- you can be a light bulb, turnip
bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for
Sunday, October 14. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men
review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?