The Break Up
An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York
and says, "I hate to ruin
your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing,
forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?"
the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer" the old
man said. "We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about
this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "There's no way
they're getting a divorce," she shouts. "I'll take care of this." She calls
Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting
divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother
back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO YOU
HEAR ME?" And she hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his
wife, smiling. "Great," he says, "they're coming home for Christmas AND paying their own